A letter to the gwis boosters from Booby Hack

[gris_h8er]

A letter from Booby Hack to the gwiswee boosters after Cat-Griz and his delusional comparison to Ohio State in the press conference:

“The parallels between my world great gwiswees and The Ohio State University are striking! Ohio state lost to their rivals and won the national championship last year. My vaunted and feared gwiswees are in the exact position that The Ohio State was in 51 weeks ago. Now that I think of it Ryan Day is basically a disciple of mine.

1) I obviously taught Ryan Day how to turn a loss to a rival into a galvanizing moment for his team just as I pointed out in the press conference after da gwiswee’s intentional loss the the Cats yesterday. This is the moment I dreamed of months ago when I was plotting the 7D chess moves that will bring a national championship back to Missoula.

2) losing to Choate was intentional and planned so that he would move on from the Cats. He was winning the in state recruiting battle and it was imperative that he move on so da gwiswees could continue to lose the in state recruiting battle to the new Cats coach. (Ryan Day has not mastered this step of the process yet)

3) The Ohio State has a state of the art indoor practice facility and my gwiswees have a state of the art ballon. Those are basically the same.

4) why bother recruiting when you can spew ridiculous delusions at a press conference and con the boosters into giving the greatest coach who has been in my office this week more money so I can bring in more transfers next season. Ryan Day doesn’t have my talent for saying insane garbage at a press conferences but someday he may learn.

5) I planned marginal o-line play this season to train my qb to become Houdini and pull rabbits out of the hat when we need miracles. And we all know you need miracles to win a national championship. It has nothing to do weight lifting in the off season and building a roster. It’s all 7D chess and miracles and obviously the most important step: galvanizing losses to rivals.

6) it was planned to allow our rivals to have a 6 minute game ending drive so our offense can have a example on film of how to end a game. I believe that now that our offense has seen how to run the clock out when the gwiswees are in the same position they will know exactly what to do. The most important aspect of step 6 of the 7D chess plan is to experience the exemplary game ending drive in a galvanizing lose to ensure that my gwiswees remember it.

In summary you couldn’t possibly understand the 7D chess moves I have concocted to bring a national championship back to Missoula. Trust the process and keep donating to the NIL fund so we can bring in more rejects I mean transfers next season.
Cordially, the greatest coach who has been in my office this afternoon, Booby Hack”