UM Joke

AnchorCat · Post by **AnchorCat** » Mon Nov 27, 2006 10:19 pm

Htowngriz wrote:Yeah, I'd fall for a girl with no teeth anyday

What's a big compliment among those from the Appalachians:

Hey, nice tooth!

appsatasu · Post by **appsatasu** » Tue Nov 28, 2006 4:20 am

You're confused again, just like you are with gender. Send that post to West Virginia.

bobcatgrad2005 · Post by **bobcatgrad2005** » Tue Nov 28, 2006 7:41 am

Appy State fans:

I heard that the Appy State's coach's wife wears furs to the games. Would that be a possum or 'coon fur?

Cat Grad · Post by **Cat Grad** » Tue Nov 28, 2006 1:55 pm

A Montana State engineer dies and reports to the Pearly Gates. St. Peter checks his dossier and says: "Ah, you're an engineer, but you worked for a high-tech startup company and got rich. You've had too good of a life, so now you can't come in here."

So the engineer reports to the gates of hell and is let in. Pretty soon, the engineer is dissatisfied with the level of comfort in hell, and starts designing and building improvements.

After a while, they've got air conditioning and flush toilets and escalators. The computers are all upgraded and there are speaker wires running to every room. Even the clocks on the VCRs are set. The engineer becomes a pretty popular guy.

One day God calls up Satan on the telephone and says with a sneer, "So, how's it going down there in hell?"

Satan replies, "Hey, things are going great. We've got air conditioning and flush toilets and escalators. The computers are faster than ever and we've got music in every room. There's no telling what this engineer is going to come up with next."

God replies, "What? You've got an engineer? That's a mistake, he should never have gotten down there! Send him back up here, now."

Satan shouts back, "No way! I like having an engineer on the staff, and I'm keeping him."

God says, "Send him back up here or I'll sue."

Satan laughs uproariously and answers, "Yeah, right... and just where are YOU going to find a dUMb lawyer?"

Cat Grad · Post by **Cat Grad** » Tue Nov 28, 2006 1:55 pm

A Montana State engineer dies and reports to the Pearly Gates. St. Peter checks his dossier and says: "Ah, you're an engineer, but you worked for a high-tech startup company and got rich. You've had too good of a life, so now you can't come in here."

So the engineer reports to the gates of hell and is let in. Pretty soon, the engineer is dissatisfied with the level of comfort in hell, and starts designing and building improvements.

After a while, they've got air conditioning and flush toilets and escalators. The computers are all upgraded and there are speaker wires running to every room. Even the clocks on the VCRs are set. The engineer becomes a pretty popular guy.

One day God calls up Satan on the telephone and says with a sneer, "So, how's it going down there in hell?"

Satan replies, "Hey, things are going great. We've got air conditioning and flush toilets and escalators. The computers are faster than ever and we've got music in every room. There's no telling what this engineer is going to come up with next."

God replies, "What? You've got an engineer? That's a mistake, he should never have gotten down there! Send him back up here, now."

Satan shouts back, "No way! I like having an engineer on the staff, and I'm keeping him."

God says, "Send him back up here or I'll sue."

Satan laughs uproariously and answers, "Yeah, right... and just where are YOU going to find a dUMb lawyer?"

Htowngriz · Post by **Htowngriz** » Tue Nov 28, 2006 3:42 pm

Just can't resist, can you? Ah well, we'll just let 13-7 do the talking

Cat Grad · Post by **Cat Grad** » Tue Nov 28, 2006 3:48 pm

Htowngriz wrote:Just can't resist, can you? Ah well, we'll just let 13-7 do the talking

No I can't, but ya'll know the season's not over yet don't you? Be careful about, and I know there's really no way we'll beat Ape State, saying anything that may be construed as premature e........

Cat Grad · Post by **Cat Grad** » Tue Nov 28, 2006 3:56 pm

Okay, I'll admit the last lawyer vs. engineer joke was really, really bad (like there's a good lawyer joke?) so even though this is getting old:

Three dUMb lawyers and three Montana State engineers are traveling by train to a conference. At the station, the three lawyers each buy tickets and watch as the three engineers buy only a single ticket.

"How are three people going to travel on only one ticket?" asked one of the three lawyers.

"Watch and you'll see," answers one of the engineers.

They all board the train. The lawyers take their respective seats but all three engineers cram into a restroom and close the door behind them. Shortly after the train has departed, the conductor comes around collecting tickets. He knocks on the restroom door and says, "Ticket, please" The door opens just a crack and a single arm emerges with a ticket in hand. The conductor takes it and moves on. The lawyers saw this and agreed it was quite a clever idea.

So after the conference, the lawyers decide to copy the engineers on the return trip and save some money. When they get to the station, they buy a single ticket for the return trip. To their astonishment, the engineers don't buy a ticket at all.

"How are you going to travel without a ticket," asks one perplexed lawyer.

"Watch and you'll see," says one of the engineers.

When they board the train the three lawyers cram into a restroom and the three engineers cram into another one nearby. The train departs. Shortly afterward, one of the engineers leaves his restroom and walks over to the restroom where the lawyers are hiding. He knocks on the door and says, "Ticket, please."