Fire away with the Cat/Griz Jokes

[Eastcoastgriz]

Coach Ash noticed that his running back, Demetrius Crawford, had so many women hanging around that he couldn’t possibly handle all of them. So one day he asked Demetrius, “Just what the hell is your secret?”

Demetrius replied, “Well, coach, whenever I’m about to have sex, I always whip it out and bang it on the dresser like a hammer. That numbs it and I can screw ’em forever!”

The coach went home early that day and went straight to the bedroom. He heard his wife in the shower and, seeing a window of opportunity, tore off his clothes and started banging his penis on the dresser.

His wife immediately stuck her head out of the shower and said, “Is that you, Demetrius?"

[GrizinWashington]

Exxxxxcceellllent!

I liked the one about the Griz on a bike, the Hauck pre-game speech, the bobcat stamp and the straight A's!

[Eastcoastgriz]

Q) Fed up of spending money just to show your support for msu?
A) Simply attach a sticker saying "Idiot" to your forehead and it will be perfectly clear to everyone who you support.

[Old Skool Cat]

Two boys are playing football in Montana when one is attacked by a rabid rottweiler. Thinking quickly, the other boy rips a board off of a nearby fence, wedges it down the dog's collar and twists, breaking the dog's neck.

A reporter strolling by sees the incident, and rushes over to interview the boy.

"Young Bobcat Fan Saves Friend From Vicious Animal," he writes in his notebook.

"But I'm not a Bobcat fan," the little hero replies.

"Sorry, since we are in Montana, I just assumed you were," says the reporter.

"Little Saints Fan Rescues Friend From Horrific Attack," he writes in his notebook.

"I'm not a Saints fan either," the boy says.

"I assumed everyone in Montana was either for the Bobcats or Saints. What team do you root for?" the reporter asks.

"I'm a Grizzly fan," the child says.

The reporter starts a new sheet in his notebook and writes, "Little Redneck Maniac Kills Beloved Family Pet".

[Eastcoastgriz]

How many bobcat fans does it take to change a light bulb?

Both of them.

[Eastcoastgriz]

What do you have when an msu fan is buried up to his neck in sand?
Not enough sand.

[Eastcoastgriz]

Four BSC Football fans want to find out who is the most loyal to their team, a ISU fan, a EWU fan, a UM fan and a MSU fan. They climb to the top of a high mountain. The ISU fan, wanting to prove he is most loyal, yells at the top of his voice, "This is for the Bengals!", and jumps off the mountain. The EWU fan, not wanting to be outdone by his rival, also yells at the top of his voice, "This is for the Eagles!", and jumps off the mountain. Now the UM fan, knowing in his mind that he is the most loyal, yells at the top of his voice, "This is for the Grizzlies!", and pushes the MSU fan off the mountain.

[Old Skool Cat]

Two Grizzly football players were taking an important final exam. If they failed, they would be on academic probation and not allowed to play in the Cat/Griz game. The exam was fill-in-the-blank. The last question read, "Old MacDonald had a _________."

JD was stumped. He had no idea of the answer. He knew he needed to get this one right to be sure he passed. Making sure the professor wasn't watching, he tapped Cole on the shoulder. "Pssst. Cole. What's the answer to the last question?" Cole laughed. He looked around to make sure the professor hadn't noticed then he turned to JD. "JD, you're so stupid. Everyone knows Old MacDonald had a farm."

"Oh yeah," said JD. "I remember now." He picked up his No. 2 pencil and started to write the answer in the blank. He stopped. Reaching to tap Cole's shoulder again, he whispered, "Cole, how do you spell farm?"

"You are really dumb, JD. That's so easy. Farm is spelled - E-I-E-I-O.".

[Eastcoastgriz]

In a school just outside of bozo, a first grade teacher explained to her class that she is a Smsu fan. She asked her students to raise their hands if they were msu fans too.

Not really knowing what a msu fan was, but wanting to be liked by their teacher, their hands all went up into the air. However, there was one exception. A little boy named Timmy had not gone along with the crowd.

The teacher asked him why he had decided to be different ... "Because I am not a msu fan" says Timmy.

The teacher then asked, "What are you?"

Timmy sayed "I'm a GRIZ fan."

The teacher was a little perturbed now, her face slightly red, she asked Timmy why he was a GRIZ fan.

" Well, my mom and dad are GRIZ fans so I'm a GRIZ fan too."

The teacher was now angry. "That's no reason" she says loudly. "What if your mom was a moron and your dad was an idiot?"

Timmy said, "Then I'd be a msu fan."

[Eastcoastgriz]

A GRIZ fan was walking on the beach when he noticed a gold lantern, he picked it up and rubbed it, then suddenly a Geannie appeared wearing a msu jeresy. The Geannie told the GRIZ fan he had three wishes, but whatever he wished the MSU fans around the world would recieve double the wish. The GRIZ fan thought long and hard, he then began his wishes, he asked for a million dollars, Poof a million dollars, the Geannie laughed and pronounced every msu fan is now a millionarie. Then the GRIZ fan wished for a beautiful blond for a wife. Poof, a beautiful wife. The Geannie began laughing again and said "now every msu fan has two blonds for wives!". The GRIZ fan repeated the Geannie and said "msu fans get double what I wish for"? "Yes" the Geannie said laughing hysterically. Then the GRIZ fan said "fine I wish to be beaten half to death!"

[Eastcoastgriz]

There was a GRIZ fan, a msu fan, and a WSU fan. They attempted to rob a bank but got caught. They went to court and were sentenced to the electric chair. The guys operating it told them that if they survived they were free to go.

The GRIZ fan went first. They asked him if he had any last words to say. He told them no. He pressed the button and nothing happened so he was free to go.

The WSU went next. They asked him if he had any last words to say. He said no and pressed the button. Nothing happened and he was free to go.

The msu fan went next. They asked him if he had any last words. "I think if you plug the chair in, it'll work better."

[Eastcoastgriz]

A guy in a bar leans over to the guy next to him and says, “Wanna hear a msu joke?” The guy replies, “Well, before you tell that joke, you should know something. I am 6′ tall, 200 lbs. and I am an msu graduate. The guy sitting next to me is 6′2″, 225 lbs., and he is an msu graduate. The guy right next to him is 6′5″, 250lbs., and he is also an msu graduate. Now, you still wanna tell me that joke?” The first guy says, “No, not if I’m going to have to explain it three times.”

[Eastcoastgriz]

It was reported that the msu Coach Ash will only be dressing 40 players for the GRIZ/cat game …the rest of the players will have to dress them selves.

[Eastcoastgriz]

Coaches Ash and Hauck are walking down the beach talking about the rivalry between msu and UM As they are walking, Ash trips over something in the sand. Upon closer inspection it turns out to be a genie’s lamp. “Who disturbs me?” asked the genie. Ash and Hauck both say they did. “You will each get one wish,” said the genie. Ash offers to go first. “I want an impenetrable wall built around the entire city of Bozeman so that none of those stupid Griz fans can ever get in. I want it as far down into the ground as it is high and I want it to be completely sealed in so that we can finally have our peace!” The genie grants the wish to Ash and his is instantly whisked away to his new paradise. The genie now tells Hauck he’ll grant him one wish. Hauck says, “Fill it with water.”

[GOKATS]

Q: What's the difference between a griz fan and a carp?

A: One is a bottom-feeding, scum sucker, and the other is a fish.

[GOKATS]

At the Cat/griz game, two fans are in the men's room. When the guy wearing blue and gold gets done, he flushes the urinal and heads for the door. The guy wearing dark pink and grey calls out derisively, "At UM, they teach us to wash our hands after we pee." The other guy responds as he heads out the door, "At MSU, they teach us not to piss on our fingers."

[GOKATS]

Q: How many dUMb students does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
A: One, and they get four credits.

[GOKATS]

Q: What does a MSU engineering graduate say?
A: How does it work?
Q: What does a MSU accounting graduate say?
A: How much does it cost?
Q: What does a MSU marketing graduate say?
A: Who can we sell it to?
Q: What does a dUMB graduate say?
A: Do you want fries with that?

[NrthFce]

Whats the difference between a Griz Fan and a vibrator?

The Griz Fan is a real di*k!!!

[Cat-theotherwhitemeat]

Whats the difference between a Griz Fan and a vibrator?

The Griz Fan is a real di*k!!!

Disk?? I don't get it.