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Feeling suicidal?
Posted: Thu May 03, 2007 12:35 pm
by UMclassof2002
This method will probably work:
Wait until you are in front of the TV, drinking beer, eating snacks, and while in a giving mood you don't cuss at your wife for passing in front of the TV whilst vacuuming. The little lady summons strength to continue house cleaning knowing you promised to take her to that nice seafood place.
She puts away her cleaning "tools" and states that she is going to take a shower and get ready for the dinner date. You then inform her that it won't be necessary for her to shower afterall, that you discovered that a playoff game was coming on that you had forgotten about.
While she is standing at the top of the stairs, incredulously asking you if you are out of your mind, you turn the remote in her direction and vigorously press the mute button. As her eyes go buckwheat, you shrug your shoulders and mutter that the damn thing must be broken....
Stay on the couch, and wait to see what she throws at you.
That is one form of suicide.
Re: Feeling suicidal?
Posted: Thu May 03, 2007 2:17 pm
by Egg Salad
UMclassof2002 wrote:This method will probably work:
Wait until you are in front of the TV, drinking beer, eating snacks, and while in a giving mood you don't cuss at your wife for passing in front of the TV whilst vacuuming. The little lady summons strength to continue house cleaning knowing you promised to take her to that nice seafood place.
She puts away her cleaning "tools" and states that she is going to take a shower and get ready for the dinner date. You then inform her that it won't be necessary for her to shower afterall, that you discovered that a playoff game was coming on that you had forgotten about.
While she is standing at the top of the stairs, incredulously asking you if you are out of your mind, you turn the remote in her direction and vigorously press the mute button. As her eyes go buckwheat, you shrug your shoulders and mutter that the damn thing must be broken....
Stay on the couch, and wait to see what she throws at you.
That is one form of suicide.
Try this out and see how it works out for you. If we don't hear back from you, we'll understand.
Almost forgot, in your case it would be boyfriend. Not that there's anything wrong with that.
Re: Feeling suicidal?
Posted: Thu May 03, 2007 2:42 pm
by UMclassof2002
Egg Salad wrote:UMclassof2002 wrote:This method will probably work:
Wait until you are in front of the TV, drinking beer, eating snacks, and while in a giving mood you don't cuss at your wife for passing in front of the TV whilst vacuuming. The little lady summons strength to continue house cleaning knowing you promised to take her to that nice seafood place.
She puts away her cleaning "tools" and states that she is going to take a shower and get ready for the dinner date. You then inform her that it won't be necessary for her to shower afterall, that you discovered that a playoff game was coming on that you had forgotten about.
While she is standing at the top of the stairs, incredulously asking you if you are out of your mind, you turn the remote in her direction and vigorously press the mute button. As her eyes go buckwheat, you shrug your shoulders and mutter that the damn thing must be broken....
Stay on the couch, and wait to see what she throws at you.
That is one form of suicide.
Try this out and see how it works out for you. If we don't hear back from you, we'll understand.
Almost forgot, in your case it would be boyfriend. Not that there's anything wrong with that.
Predictable response from a polesmoking gaywad. Try again when you've got something to bring to the table though, preferably, you'll just off yourself and save me the trouble of systematically dismantling you over the course of the next several months.
Come think of it, are you even associated with Ms. U? Don't get me wrong, you definitely come across like one of those dumbfukks. To their credit though, they don't normally sound as queer as you do. That's what's making me wonder about your allegiance. Your effeminence strikes me as Portland-esque. Does that sound about right?
I'll give a little time to respond, 'tard. I know there is high demand for those 30 minute blocks of internet access at the public library.
(edited to sneak in the dumbfukk)
Posted: Thu May 03, 2007 2:49 pm
by Egg Salad
I call you gay, you call me a synonym for gay. Well played sir.
Posted: Fri May 04, 2007 1:49 am
by lifeloyalsigmsu
Perhaps another means of "suicide".....
Celibacy can be a choice in life, or it can be a condition imposed by certain unintentional displays of stupidity.
To wit:
While attending a marriage therapy weekend, Walter and his wife Ann listened to the instructor declare, "It is essential that husbands and wives know what is important to each other."
He addressed the men, "Can you name and describe your wife's favorite flower?"
Walter leaned over, touched Ann's arm gently and whispered, "Pillsbury All-Purpose, isn't it?"
And thus began Walter's life of celibacy.
Posted: Fri May 04, 2007 3:55 pm
by grizzh8r
lifeloyalsigmsu wrote:Perhaps another means of "suicide".....
Celibacy can be a choice in life, or it can be a condition imposed by certain unintentional displays of stupidity.
To wit:
While attending a marriage therapy weekend, Walter and his wife Ann listened to the instructor declare, "It is essential that husbands and wives know what is important to each other."
He addressed the men, "Can you name and describe your wife's favorite flower?"
Walter leaned over, touched Ann's arm gently and whispered, "Pillsbury All-Purpose, isn't it?"
And thus began Walter's life of celibacy.
HEY! I kno some women that would take that as a compliment. Excellent cooks!
Posted: Fri May 04, 2007 5:15 pm
by CouchCat
lifeloyalsigmsu wrote:
While attending a marriage therapy weekend, Walter and his wife Ann listened to the instructor declare, "It is essential that husbands and wives know what is important to each other."
He addressed the men, "Can you name and describe your wife's favorite flower?"
Walter leaned over, touched Ann's arm gently and whispered, "Pillsbury All-Purpose, isn't it?"
And thus began Walter's life of celibacy.
Hey! I resemble that remark!

Posted: Mon May 07, 2007 9:37 am
by Grizlaw
Egg Salad wrote:I call you gay, you call me a synonym for gay. Well played sir.
I agree that that wasn't his strongest possible response. All he really had to do was point out that your avatar indicates a latent sexual fantasy involving Mr. Peanut.

Posted: Mon May 07, 2007 11:08 am
by HelenaCat95
Grizlaw wrote:Egg Salad wrote:I call you gay, you call me a synonym for gay. Well played sir.
I agree that that wasn't his strongest possible response. All he really had to do was point out that your avatar indicates a latent sexual fantasy involving Mr. Peanut.

Grizlaw,
Do you have Peanut Envy?

Posted: Mon May 07, 2007 1:47 pm
by catsrback76
HelenaCat95 wrote:Grizlaw wrote:Egg Salad wrote:I call you gay, you call me a synonym for gay. Well played sir.
I agree that that wasn't his strongest possible response. All he really had to do was point out that your avatar indicates a latent sexual fantasy involving Mr. Peanut.

Grizlaw,
Do you have Peanut Envy?


Thats funny
Posted: Mon May 07, 2007 3:30 pm
by Hell's Bells
catsrback76 wrote:HelenaCat95 wrote:Grizlaw wrote:Egg Salad wrote:I call you gay, you call me a synonym for gay. Well played sir.
I agree that that wasn't his strongest possible response. All he really had to do was point out that your avatar indicates a latent sexual fantasy involving Mr. Peanut.

Grizlaw,
Do you have Peanut Envy?


Thats funny

Posted: Tue May 08, 2007 12:45 am
by GrizinWashington
HelenaCat95 wrote:Grizlaw wrote:Egg Salad wrote:I call you gay, you call me a synonym for gay. Well played sir.
I agree that that wasn't his strongest possible response. All he really had to do was point out that your avatar indicates a latent sexual fantasy involving Mr. Peanut.

Grizlaw,
Do you have Peanut Envy?

GREAT stuff.
Posted: Tue May 08, 2007 8:09 am
by Grizlaw
HelenaCat95 wrote:Grizlaw wrote:Egg Salad wrote:I call you gay, you call me a synonym for gay. Well played sir.
I agree that that wasn't his strongest possible response. All he really had to do was point out that your avatar indicates a latent sexual fantasy involving Mr. Peanut.

Grizlaw,
Do you have Peanut Envy?

Nope. I have the biggest, saltiest Peanuts in the room.

Posted: Tue May 08, 2007 10:16 am
by HelenaCat95
Grizlaw wrote:HelenaCat95 wrote:Grizlaw wrote:Egg Salad wrote:I call you gay, you call me a synonym for gay. Well played sir.
I agree that that wasn't his strongest possible response. All he really had to do was point out that your avatar indicates a latent sexual fantasy involving Mr. Peanut.

Grizlaw,
Do you have Peanut Envy?

Nope. I have the biggest, saltiest Peanuts in the room.

That's funny.
Disgusting......but funny.

Posted: Tue May 08, 2007 11:55 am
by 1BadBobcat
HelenaCat95 wrote:Grizlaw wrote:HelenaCat95 wrote:Grizlaw wrote:Egg Salad wrote:I call you gay, you call me a synonym for gay. Well played sir.
I agree that that wasn't his strongest possible response. All he really had to do was point out that your avatar indicates a latent sexual fantasy involving Mr. Peanut.

Grizlaw,
Do you have Peanut Envy?

Nope. I have the biggest, saltiest Peanuts in the room.

That's funny.
Disgusting......but funny.

Nice peanuts, but take a look at my salted nut log!