Fire away with the Cat/Griz Jokes

[LongTimeCatFan]

I always love these every year they get better. I'll start us off.

What does the average UM player get on his SAT’s?
Drool

What do you get when you put 32 UM cheerleaders in one room?
A full set of teeth

How do you get a UM cheerleader into your dorm room?
Grease her hips and push like hell

How do you get A UM football player off you porch?
Pay him for the pizza

Why do the UM cheerleaders wear bibs?
To keep the tobacco juice off their uniforms

Why do they no longer serve ice at UM football games?
The senior who knew the recipe graduated

What are the longest three years of an UM football player’s life?
His freshman year

How many UM freshman does it take to change a lightbulb?
None, that’s a sophomore course at UM

[LongTimeCatFan]

Why does our football field have new artificial turf?






To keep the griz cheerleaders from grazing at halftime.

[Billings_Griz]

Bobcats.

[anacondagriz]

[Cledus]

Q: Why do UM chicks wear large, hoop earrings?
A: So they have a place to put their ankles

Q: Why do birds fly upside down over Missoula?
A: Cos there's nothing worth chitting on

Q: Why don't UM chicks wear pantyhose?
A: So their ankles don't swell up when they fart

Q: Why was the UM chick's belly button bruised up?
A: Her boyfriend also goes to UM

[longhorn_22]

Andrew Schmidt:

[CapitalCityCat]

A Griz alum takes his family to the local mall to shop one day. They immediately head to the nearest department store and part their own ways. His son finds his way over to a section of Bobcat apparel and grabs a Bobcat jersey off the rack. He heads over to his sister and says "Sis, look at this cool Bobcat jersey I found!". His sister slaps him on the head and says "Go show your mother!". The son then finds his mother and says "Mom! Look at this cool Bobcat jersey I found!". The mother slaps him on the arm and says "Put that back now and don't let your father see you with it!". As the son is heading back to the rack to put the jersey away, he runs into his father who stops him in the aisle, swats him on the ass and says "Drop that jersey right now! And don't touch ANYTHING else with those colors! C'mon, we're leaving NOW!". As they're walking out to the car to leave, the father turns to his son and says, "Well, son? What have you learned today?" His son replies, "I've only been a Bobcat fan for 10 minutes and I already hate the f*cking griz!"

[GrizinWashington]

Can someone include a joke not written circa 1972? Please.

[longhorn_22]

Can someone include a joke not written circa 1972? Please.

Can we have one thread without some grizzly whining about smack of all things?

[bobcatmaniac]

[Billings_Griz]

Can someone include a joke not written circa 1972? Please.

Can we have one thread without some grizzly whining about smack of all things?

Only if we can have one w/ a cat fan not b!tching about a Griz fan whining.

[GrizinWashington]

Only if we can have one w/ a cat fan not b!tching about the Griz winning.

FIFY, BG.

[Billings_Griz]

Only if we can have one w/ a cat fan not b!tching about the Griz winning.

FIFY, BG.

Thanks!


The Bobcats and the Grizzlies decided to have a ice fishing contest one
week. They decided that the Griz got one side and the bobcats the other. The
first they went out all day and the griz came back with 28 fish and the
bobcats none. This went on for several days and every time the Griz had tons
of fish and the bobcats none. So the bobcats had a huddle, they decided that
one of them would dress up as a Grizzly and go fishing with them to see if
they are cheating. So at the end of the day the Griz have 30 fish and the
bobcats none. When the bobcat went back to his side the others asked if they
were cheating and he replied, "Yeah, they are! They're cutting holes in the
ice!"

[Cat in NC]

Only if we can have one w/ a cat fan not b!tching about the Griz winning.

FIFY, BG.

Thanks!


The Bobcats and the Grizzlies decided to have a ice fishing contest one
week. They decided that the Griz got one side and the bobcats the other. The
first they went out all day and the griz came back with 28 fish and the
bobcats none. This went on for several days and every time the Griz had tons
of fish and the bobcats none. So the bobcats had a huddle, they decided that
one of them would dress up as a Grizzly and go fishing with them to see if
they are cheating. So at the end of the day the Griz have 30 fish and the
bobcats none. When the bobcat went back to his side the others asked if they
were cheating and he replied, "Yeah, they are! They're cutting holes in the
ice!"

Okay, that's a good one.

It might be old, but it makes me chuckle.

[STREETCAT]

Q: How many University of Montana freshman does it take to change a light bulb?
A: None, it's a sophomore course.

[STREETCAT]

Q: Why do they throw out a sack of manure at University of Montana weddings?

A: To keep the flies off the bride.

[STREETCAT]

Q: What's the hardest thing about being a Montana Grizzly fan?

A: Telling your parents that you're gay.

[STREETCAT]

What do you get when you drag a $1,000 bill through a housing project?

A Montana football signee.

I know I know glass house right?

[CapitalCityCat]

http://filemanager.montanagrizzlies.com/mtgriz3/" onclick="window.open(this.href);return false;mugshots/files/migrated/jd_quinn.jpg

This is their actual filename for pictures.... oh the irony.

[AlphaGriz1]

Do you know why the MSU cats were considering changing the team name to the "Opossums"?


Because they play dead at home and get killed on the road.