The REAL story!

[Viva Los Gatos]

For those of you who are unaware, I’m a local attorney with extremely close connections to the team. I haven’t posted on this matter because I didn’t feel comfortable saying anything until I knew all the facts. In fact I fancy myself as somewhat of a representative of these players.

Well, ladies and gentlemen it’s quite clear that all of you who are forming opinions and asking for these athletes to be punished have absolutely no idea what happened. Unlike most of you overweight armchair quarterbacks, I was actually a college athlete.

Here are the facts.


1. Bozeman Cops are racist. My secretary’s daughter’s friend’s cousin has a cell phone video that captured the entire incident. It will show that it was actually the cops who beat up Xavier Blount.

2. The Bozeman Daily Chronicle should be sued for libel and slanderous comments about these young guys. When did selling newspapers become more important than the fate of MSU athletics? Clearly the newspaper needs to be reminded who the big dog in town is.

3. Bozeman taxi drivers are also racist and will be sued. That girl deserved to be bitten.

4. MSU Exponent is a rag that can’t be trusted. Their campus funding should immediately be terminated.

5. Zach Minter wasn’t even there. He was at home in bed. How do I know? Because I was with him. He was the big spoon, and I was the little spoon.

Wilson, Blount, Trammel, and Minter are clearly the victims here. If you can’t see that you’re blind.

[allcat]

Sounds like LSD is still being dropped in Bozeman.

[coachouert]

While I understand that you're trying to be funny and mocking other posters from another board, keep in mind that some people will stumble upon this thread and not realize you are being sarcastic and take it as the truth or partial truth, thus fueling rumor mills. Just saying.

[catzz]

Well I laughed my @ss off!

[cats2506]

For those of you who are unaware, I’m a local attorney with extremely close connections to the team. I haven’t posted on this matter because I didn’t feel comfortable saying anything until I knew all the facts. In fact I fancy myself as somewhat of a representative of these players.

Well, ladies and gentlemen it’s quite clear that all of you who are forming opinions and asking for these athletes to be punished have absolutely no idea what happened. Unlike most of you overweight armchair quarterbacks, I was actually a college athlete.

Here are the facts.


1. Bozeman Cops are racist. My secretary’s daughter’s friend’s cousin has a cell phone video that captured the entire incident. It will show that it was actually the cops who beat up Xavier Blount.

2. The Bozeman Daily Chronicle should be sued for libel and slanderous comments about these young guys. When did selling newspapers become more important than the fate of MSU athletics? Clearly the newspaper needs to be reminded who the big dog in town is.

3. Bozeman taxi drivers are also racist and will be sued. That girl deserved to be bitten.

4. MSU Exponent is a rag that can’t be trusted. Their campus funding should immediately be terminated.

5. Zach Minter wasn’t even there. He was at home in bed. How do I know? Because I was with him. He was the big spoon, and I was the little spoon.

Wilson, Blount, Trammel, and Minter are clearly the victims here. If you can’t see that you’re blind.

Very well done Sir;

[Viva Los Gatos]

While I understand that you're trying to be funny and mocking other posters from another board, keep in mind that some people will stumble upon this thread and not realize you are being sarcastic and take it as the truth or partial truth, thus fueling rumor mills. Just saying.

F off, buddy. You're just jealous that I am Twitter and Facebook friends with every single MSU athlete. I have Coach Ash on speed dial and I have DeNarius McGhee on the other end of my tin can phone.

[CapitalCityCat]

5. Zach Minter wasn’t even there. He was at home in bed. How do I know? Because I was with him. He was the big spoon, and I was the little spoon.

Thanks for bringing a little levity to this board. It was much needed.

[TIrwin24]

bahahahaha! Awesome!

[kmax]

While I love the effort, much like coachouert said this probably isn't the best place for it...not sure what is, but I guess smack is the closest so that's where I will put it. Thanks for the laugh gatos.

[coachouert]

While I understand that you're trying to be funny and mocking other posters from another board, keep in mind that some people will stumble upon this thread and not realize you are being sarcastic and take it as the truth or partial truth, thus fueling rumor mills. Just saying.

F off, buddy. You're just jealous that I am Twitter and Facebook friends with every single MSU athlete. I have Coach Ash on speed dial and I have DeNarius McGhee on the other end of my tin can phone.

You can be Facebook friends with them. McGhee is the godfather of my kids I don't have so I know more than you guys do. Suck on that.

[basincat]

While I understand that you're trying to be funny and mocking other posters from another board, keep in mind that some people will stumble upon this thread and not realize you are being sarcastic and take it as the truth or partial truth, thus fueling rumor mills. Just saying.

F off, buddy. You're just jealous that I am Twitter and Facebook friends with every single MSU athlete. I have Coach Ash on speed dial and I have DeNarius McGhee on the other end of my tin can phone.

Living vicariously through the football team huh? That quote kinda reminded me of the 40 year old guy off Varsity Blues at the high school party. Can you say "I'm stupid and about to be hit in the nuts?"

[Viva Los Gatos]

While I understand that you're trying to be funny and mocking other posters from another board, keep in mind that some people will stumble upon this thread and not realize you are being sarcastic and take it as the truth or partial truth, thus fueling rumor mills. Just saying.

F off, buddy. You're just jealous that I am Twitter and Facebook friends with every single MSU athlete. I have Coach Ash on speed dial and I have DeNarius McGhee on the other end of my tin can phone.

You can be Facebook friends with them. McGhee is the godfather of my kids I don't have so I know more than you guys do. Suck on that.

I am the love child of Brick Breeden and Marga Hosaeus.

I have FTG tattooed on my penis. #BUTTE TOUGH

VivaLosGatos OUT!!!!

[coachouert]

While I understand that you're trying to be funny and mocking other posters from another board, keep in mind that some people will stumble upon this thread and not realize you are being sarcastic and take it as the truth or partial truth, thus fueling rumor mills. Just saying.

F off, buddy. You're just jealous that I am Twitter and Facebook friends with every single MSU athlete. I have Coach Ash on speed dial and I have DeNarius McGhee on the other end of my tin can phone.

You can be Facebook friends with them. McGhee is the godfather of my kids I don't have so I know more than you guys do. Suck on that.

I am the love child of Brick Breeden and Marga Hosaeus.

I have FTG tattooed on my penis. #BUTTE TOUGH

VivaLosGatos OUT!!!!

Touche salesman, touche...


WE'RE NOT WORTHY!

[technoCat]

I was a little confused on if it was a joke or not

until....

I almost fell out of my chair reading number 5! Still trying to catch my breath

well done sir!

[Cat in NC]

While I understand that you're trying to be funny and mocking other posters from another board, keep in mind that some people will stumble upon this thread and not realize you are being sarcastic and take it as the truth or partial truth, thus fueling rumor mills. Just saying.

F off, buddy. You're just jealous that I am Twitter and Facebook friends with every single MSU athlete. I have Coach Ash on speed dial and I have DeNarius McGhee on the other end of my tin can phone.

Living vicariously through the football team huh? That quote kinda reminded me of the 40 year old guy off Varsity Blues at the high school party. Can you say "I'm stupid and about to be hit in the nuts?"

Don't know if you're being serious or not, basin, but FYI...this is a spot-freaking-on lampooning of 2 particular d-bag egriz posters. Well, two that come immediately to mind...although it's actually pretty accurate for about 50 of them.