The Bobcat Nation

I found this opinion piece pretty interesting, and it reminded me of my own frustrations right after 911. The way everybody was freaking out about flying seemed strange to me at the time, but I hadn't thought about it in retrospect.

Sadly, this article is exactly right in how everything is marketed to us today. The news, commerical products, and especially politics (all parts of the political spectrum) all use fear as their primary marketing tool. We are a nation motivated by fear, which is probably the way people have been manipulated from the dawn of man, but this trend has definitely gotten worse in the last several years, probably starting with 911.

http://www.sfgate.com/cgi-bin/article.c ... DDSNE1.DTL

Although I think there was more to the story of the kid lost in the forest. From what I've read, it seems quite likely that the kid isn't quite as developed mentally as most kids his age.

BAC -most kids that experience trauma will regress in their behavioral development. the intial fear of being lost in the woods could have been enough to trigger post traumatic stress and anxiety levels high enough to make his behaviors seem much more underdeveloped for his age. this is seen not just in children whom have become seperated from a safe situation, but also with children in domestic violent and sexually excplicit situations.

i think this family was correct in warning their son about strangers. I agree with you that the media has pushed the angle of fear to far these days by constantly adressing the issues of children abducted both by strangers and family members & amber alerts. however, I do disagree with the idea that it's going overboard as a parent to teach your children about stranger danger. it is a real threat these days, and it is best to be informed rather than left to the wolves sort of speak.

children are the most wonderful blessings we are ever given and we want to keep them safe. most parents would rather over protect these days than be passive. reality is there are sick SOB's out there that prey on small children. at his age this young man was exposed to numerious TV, radio, and newspaper articles regarding child abductions. I do think that his fear may have been heightened by the fact that he was lost, and without resources for several days. But it is a valid fear now days. as unfortunate as that is, we are living in a brutal world for children. they do not have the maturity and experience to make judgement calls the way our adult minds can.

nevertheless, i do think the media outlets do try to spin fear to motivate the general population. although, i do believe this has always been the case, not just since 9/11. depending on our age range and educational backgrounds we make our decisions regarding what is fact or fiction, what is logical or practical. I think it is a wonderful blessing that this little boy is alive and with his family now. he will require therapy I'm sure for years to come.

-rebecca

briannell wrote: children are the most wonderful blessings we are ever given and we want to keep them safe.
-rebecca

To again quote Carlin:

"Children are Overvalued and Over-Rated. Just like the rest the world; a few winners and a whole lot of losers".

Children today just aren't tough. If a kid (any kid) needs therapy (for any reason) it is a sign of a bigger problem.

how can you say that Gary?

I take it you think trauma is BS and that the psyche is not fragile?

come meet some kids I have volunteered with and tell me trauma isn't real. this poor boy was seperated from his family and everything he deemed safe in his life, not to mention without supplies, a map or anything that could prepare him for that situation.

And I do think children are wonderful, may not be popular opinion these days, but it is mine. that's why I stay home to raise mine instead of using daycare, I volunteer with child advocacy, PTA, and teach Sunday school. oh, I also like senior citizen, and fund raising for the low income families in my communityso go ahead and bash those people too.

-rebecca

Growing up, it was a family rule that I shouldn't talk to strangers. But my parents relayed it in such a way that I wasn't afraid of the strangers, I just knew it was something I shouldn't do, like taking that cookie fresh out of the oven when I knew damn well my Mom said not to.

I do agree though that America is fear driven. It really did make me sick how scared everyone got right after 9/11 (although I can understand it, to a point), or Bin Laden, or just awful things reported by the media. I remember working at the State as a mail carrier, and we shut down for a day because someone found some white powder on a box, which turned out to be light colored dust.

It's easy to sit there and think of nothing but the worst, because that is what is crammed in our brains each day, but the reality of something horrific like being shot by a terrorist sniper or bombed by a fanatic are extremely minimal.

This all circulates back to my feelings on religion and preaching, I really just don't care too much. I'm not saying I don't empathize with victims of the bombing, or the kid lost in the forest. I just don't care if it happens to me, I guess. I'm not worried, and I quote what is fast becoming my motto, "Ignorance is bliss."

Hey fear sells advertising! When you are watching TV you see a short 10pm News preview that says, “There is something in 90% of Americans kitchens that kills hundreds of people each year, tune in to find out if you are at risk!” Well you turn on the TV and you find out that it is a dirty cutting board that may have potentially deadly bacteria! Americans like to worry. It is like mad cow disease… How many Americans have died from mad cow disease? Yet everyone is so damn scared of it! My wife is worried about a terrorist attack in Billings for crying out loud! Where does this fear come from? Well just this morning the terror alert was elevated to orange! Oh sh** orange! I would feel much better if the terror alert was only peach! I blame the media for a lot of the problems, but really it is the fault of the people that buy into the hoopla. I was just as likely to fly pre 911 as I was post 911. You want to know what determines my actions? The damn prices of crude oil. Tell me about energy issues not about that silent killer in the kitchen!

(I know I am a little off the topic, but I was following up CelticCat, so blame him.)

Actually, I think you were precisely on-topic -- at least those were the points in the article that I found most interesting. The little kid part was just evidence of that same kind of thinking. The part in the article about the "home of the brave" really made me think long and hard. It's kind of true -- we are about as reactively spooky as any group of people in the world. I think we have just been spoiled for so long being so geographically isolated (in terms of wars, terrorism, etc.), that we don't know how to deal with the reality of a very, very, very small chance of being killed in some freak terrorist act or other random event. We need to let it go and just enjoy life more (and laugh in the face of that deadly bacteria).

As to the kid thing, I have strong suspicions that two things were at work. First, the kid isn't as mentally developed as most 11 year olds (other articles quote the parents almost admitting that, but being in just enough denial to not explicitly state it), and the parents might have been a bit over-protective (by being so paranoid about abductions, which the article does a good job of showing how infrequently they actually occur), which led to kid to act in the bizarre way he did. Reading other articles about his rescue, it read as though he didn't even really understand that he was in danger of dying and didn't seem too traumatized at all. The kid just isn't quite all there, so somebody should have been watching him closer in the first place.

It's true he might have suffered from some kind of trauma that made him act stangely, but I think this one might just be a good old fashioned "the kid's just not right" sort of thing.

Bay Area Cat wrote: As to the kid thing, I have strong suspicions that two things were at work. First, the kid isn't as mentally developed as most 11 year olds (other articles quote the parents almost admitting that, but being in just enough denial to not explicitly state it), and the parents might have been a bit over-protective (by being so paranoid about abductions, which the article does a good job of showing how infrequently they actually occur), which led to kid to act in the bizarre way he did. Reading other articles about his rescue, it read as though he didn't even really understand that he was in danger of dying and didn't seem too traumatized at all. The kid just isn't quite all there, so somebody should have been watching him closer in the first place.

BAC you are not alone in your thinking I came to the same conclusion. One of the interesting things that I heard was how he was walking up the mountain- usually when you are lost you walk down.

Bay Area Cat wrote:As to the kid thing, I have strong suspicions that two things were at work. First, the kid isn't as mentally developed as most 11 year olds (other articles quote the parents almost admitting that, but being in just enough denial to not explicitly state it), and the parents might have been a bit over-protective (by being so paranoid about abductions, which the article does a good job of showing how infrequently they actually occur), which led to kid to act in the bizarre way he did. Reading other articles about his rescue, it read as though he didn't even really understand that he was in danger of dying and didn't seem too traumatized at all. The kid just isn't quite all there, so somebody should have been watching him closer in the first place.

It's true he might have suffered from some kind of trauma that made him act stangely, but I think this one might just be a good old fashioned "the kid's just not right" sort of thing.

Spot on, BAC. The Scout leadership should have been watching him better. Excerpt from this article:

"It's going to take awhile to get everything out," said his father, who described Brennan as socially immature because he was born prematurely. Toby Hawkins said Brennan has "challenges" but no mental disability.

The original article seemed to make a good point. We Americans do have fragile psyches. I believe it to be a by-product of the convenience-driven society in which we find ourselves.

Every other generation has had to work for the smallest bit of anything--their first car, their first homes, the furniture for those homes--but today we want it all now, and are apprehensive when "something wicked our way comes" and threatens our futures.

I think the previous generations' work ethic benefitted them when it came to "societal self-esteem": they weren't afraid of obstacles in their lives; they knew they could work their way through them. Our generation, on the other hand, seems to be suffering from low "societal self-esteem," and that's why we are apprehensive about any unfortunate events.

Whoever said that America is motivated by fear is spot on. And I think FDR said it best, "the only thing we have to fear, is fear itself." If you think about it, American society has feared everything from Indians to Martians. And in just about every case, the fear was totally unfounded when we benefit from 20/20 hindsight. Unfortunately, it is very hard to decifer the difference between a healthy dose of fear, and rediculous parania.

Fear sells - plain and simple. I remember after 9/11 telling my wife that "our whole way of life just changed." But what I meant by that was that our society would totally over-react to the situation. There are many pieces of evidence of this, and most notably, some of the provisions promulgated in Homeland Security. Now, don't get me wrong, I'm all for Homeland Security to a reasonable degree. I think, however, that the collective "we" completely over-reacted. Luckily, in our republic, "we" will swing the pendulum back at some point in order to strike a better balance between security and privacy.

Quast hit the nail on the head when he brought up the price of oil. "We" should have a higher degree of fear of high oil prices instead of kitchen bacteria or terrorists in America. Could both the latter things kill anyone here? Yup, but any of us could get hit by bus today, too. I don't have time to fear any of it, and I'd rather spend my energy on doing something productive, instead of wringing my hands.

As far as kids go, here's my 2 cents. Rebecca, you work in an environment where the most at-risk kids are present. The trials and tribulations of your kids, I would say, are the exceptions rather than the rules. I do think that our middle class American kids are way too "soft" and "over-protected", generally by fearful parents. The kids that you work with have legitimate issues, and those kids need the full attention of our society. It's too bad that our society, in general, chooses to ignore at-risk kids from the standpoint of becoming involved. A lot of people would rather stick their heads in the sand and, at best, send a donation. We need more people like Rebecca to share their life and their love with these kids..that's what they need most.

My kids have it so good, they have no idea. There biggest stress is what camp they are going to this week, or whether they are going to play with their friends at their house, or ours. Their best opportunity to learn to overcome life's obstacles is through their sports and in the classroom. I have a high sense of satisfaction when things don't go their way in a game or tourney, because their emotions run high, and the tears flow. But afterwards, they are little tougher emotionally, and when life deals them a real blow, they might have just a little bit better of chance to work through it. Plus, it helps them be better athletes. Like I told them this weekend after things didn't go their way in a tourney, "better to lose a tournament at 10 years old, than to never taste defeat, and have to deal with it for the first time when it could really matter." Certainly a tournament isn't the same as dealing with a life or death situation, but should that type of a situation be encountered, they might make decisions that keeps them alive simply because they learned to deal with their emotions, and the stress of a tough situation (i.e., courage under fire in a sense). In other words, I think, in general, most kids need to get thicker skins (this does not apply to Rebecca's kids - no kid should have to go through what they did). But, on the other hand, if Rebecca can help one of those kids deal with their situation, those kids will likely grow up to do some amazing things.

This is such a long winded post - I apologize for putting you to sleep. . And probably for getting off-topic.

Next.

Great post, BBG! I didn't even nod off for a second, and I got up way too early this morning, so it wouldn't take much to put me there.

thank you for the kind compliments . I'm kind of kid obsessed, just couldn't see myself either without them, or working with them in some fashion. it is such an honor to be able to enter their lives and do what little i can to improve them in some way. Selfish really, because what I get back from working with these kids, and what they teach me (especially my own two at home) is so much more than I can give them. If I could I'd have a dozen, but hubby says he's done. It's stressful to support too many kids and I've been home 7 years now and don't want to "work" outside of the family or my volunteering activities.

I too believe children in mid to upper class families need to get thicker skins. Personally, i don't have it , and as an adult wish my parents had not been so over protective with me. I do believe kids today need to work and learn the value of a dollar and not just be given everything. Old fashioned in my beliefs so i like having my kids be more like the ag side of the family, than the suit side. hard work is good for them, and will make them stronger and I hope better adults. as for athletics, I too think you need to experience loss to cherish victory. As long as they have fun victory isn't as important as developing good sportsmanship skills.

as for this little boy lost in the forest, I do agree with his hx of prematurity could lead to odd and immature behavior. brain development was not fully completed on him, and so he was fragile to begin with. adding trauma just made thing worse for him. still my heart goes out to him and his family, because of the challenges they've already faced and those they have yet to overcome.

-on a side note- question for you
you previously stated you were involved in adult hockey league in missoula, have your kids tried it? Ben is now turning 6, i have had him on skates, but he's tentative. I LOVE hockey, and think it would be good for him. Currently we're set for 4H in October, and have him on horseback and signed up for more advanced swim lessons in August. However. being All boy he wants contact sports. talked him out of rugby, but I'm okay with hockey.

-rebecca

Hockey is the best youth sport (if not the best sport period) ever. I grew up playing baseball, football, basketball and swimming. Also ran track and played rec soccer. BUT, none of those even come close to playing the game of hockey in terms of total enjoyment - it is completely addictive.

Both kids play and have been playing for about 5 years, which means that my youngest started when he was almost 5. In my opinion, you can't start skating early enough. Your 6-yr old is more than ready. There's no checking at his age, but there is still plenty of contact. And let me tell you that there is nothing more enjoyable than watching a bunch of little kids at that age play hockey.

Hockey is a big committment for the parents in terms of time and money, although it is not as expensive as many people think. Yes, the Select teams are very expensive, but in your area there will be some excellent recreational leagues for a reasonable price. The season is long, and you spend a ton of time at the rink. So be prepared for that.

BBG - thanks, that's good to know other parents experiences, especially since he's the first one to start leaving the nest. My baby girl is only 2 1/2, and since all she wants is horses, i'm good to go.

-rebecca