morning humor

briannell · Post by **briannell** » Wed Feb 01, 2006 9:43 am

IN THE NEIGHBORHOOD

I live in a semi-rural area. We recently had a new neighbor call the
local township administrative office to request the removal of the
Deer Crossing sign on our road. The reason? "Too many deer were being
hit by cars," and he didn't want them to cross there anymore. This
one was from Kingman, Kansas.

IDIOTS IN FOOD SERVICE

My daughter went to a local Taco Bell and ordered a taco. She asked
the person behind the counter for "minimal lettuce." He said he was
sorry, but they only had iceberg. And he was a Kansas City chef!

IDIOT SIGHTING

I was at the airport, checking in at the gate, when an airport
employee asked, "Has anyone put anything in your baggage without your
knowledge?" To which I replied, "If it was without my knowledge, how
would I know?" He smiled knowingly and nodded, "That's why we ask."
Happened in Birmingham, Alabama.

IDIOT CROSSING
The stoplight on the corner buzzes when it's safe to cross the
street. I was crossing with an intellectually challenged coworker of
mine, when she asked if I knew what the buzzer was for. I explained
that it signals blind people when the light is red. Appalled, she
responded, "What on earth are blind people doing driving?" She was a
probation officer in Wichita, Kansas.

IDIOT TALKING
At a good-bye luncheon for an old and dear coworker who was leaving
the company due to "downsizing," our manager commented cheerfully,
"This is fun. We should do this more often!" Not a word was spoken.
We all just looked at each other with that deer-in-the-headlights
stare. This was a brunch at Texas Instruments.

IDIOT WORKING
I work with an individual who plugged her power strip back into
itself, and for the life of her couldn't understand why her system
would not turn on. A deputy with the Dallas County Sheriff's Office,
no less.

IDIOT WORKING 2
When my husband and I arrived at an automobile dealership to pick up
our car, we were told the keys had been locked in it. We went to the
service department and found a mechanic working feverishly to unlock
the driver's side door. As I watched from the passenger side, I
instinctively tried the door handle and discovered that it was
unlocked. "Hey," I announced to the technician, "it's open!" To which
he replied, "I know - I already got that side." This was at the Chevy
dealership in Rock Hill, South Carolina!

catsrback76 · Post by **catsrback76** » Wed Feb 01, 2006 10:02 am

Funny stuff Rebecca.

G.W.Bush · Post by **G.W.Bush** » Wed Feb 01, 2006 11:57 am

Here is a funny true story. I was at a festivity and an accountant I knew came up to me and asked if she could borrow a knife so she could get into her trunk. She told me she had locked her keys in her trunk and that she was going to cut open her back seat to retrieve them. I looked at her and asked, "Don’t you have a trunk release button in your car?" She stopped and thought about it for a minute and she said she did. She was 2 minutes from destroying her back seat of her car. The woman is in her 40's, but she had been drinking a little... I should have let her cut away.

Post by **SonomaCat** » Wed Feb 01, 2006 12:08 pm

G.W.Bush wrote:Here is a funny true story. I was at a festivity and an accountant I knew came up to me and asked if she could borrow a knife so she could get into her trunk. She told me she had locked her keys in her trunk and that she was going to cut open her back seat to retrieve them. I looked at her and asked, "Don’t you have a trunk release button in your car?" She stopped and thought about it for a minute and she said she did. She was 2 minutes from destroying her back seat of her car. The woman is in her 40's, but she had been drinking a little... I should have let her cut away.

Not to be a mother hen, but I hope she didn't proceed to use her keys to drive home after that ... it doesn't sound like the brain was processing too well at that point.