A little humor for Cat/griz

badasscat · Post by **badasscat** » Thu Nov 16, 2006 2:59 pm

Bobcat/grizzly tidbits are flying this week! Here is my contribution.

GO CATS!

Q: What do you get when you drive slowly through Missoula?
A: A degree from the University of Montana

Q: Why did they cancel the University of Montana Christmas party?
A: They could not find three wise men and a virgin.

Q: How many University of Montana freshmen does it take to change a
light bulb?
A: None....it's a senior level course

A guy walks into a bar and says, "Hey barkeep, did you ever hear the one
about the UM Grizzlies?" Four huge men stand up and approach the man.
One of them says, "We play football at UM, you wanna tell that joke to us?"
The guy replies, "What....and have to explain it four times?"

Q: What are the toughest 6 years in a Grizzlies life?
A: 3rd grade

Top Ten Courses at the University of Montana
10. Philosophy: Why Don't They Spell it with an "F"?
9. Pre-law Seminar: Age of Consent in 50 States
8. Sandwich Making: A Project Course
7. Hand-Shadow Workshop
6. Subtraction: Addition's Tricky Friend
5. Cliff's Notes vs. Monarch Notes: 2 Views of the Classics
4. Hydraulic Principles of the Keg
3. The College Classroom: A Simulation
2. ABC's: An Extended Version
1. Your Ass From a Hole in the Ground: A Comparative Study

A University of Montana fan was putting up a new flagpole. He wanted to
know how high in the air his flag would be and he kept holding on to the
pole and trying to get the tape measure to reach the end. He couldn't,
and he kept dropping the pole. A Bobcat fan came by and said, "Why don't
you just put the flag pole on the ground and measure it?" The University of
Montana fan said, "You stupid Bobcat, I want to know how high it is, not
how long it is!!!"

~~~~~~~~~~~
A University of Montana fan went to the lumberyard and asked for 4x2's.
The clerk said they had 2x4's. The University of Montana fan insisted on
4x2's. Finally the clerk suggested he just look at what they had for sale.
The University of Montana fan did and decided that 2x4's would work just as well as 4x2's and he'd buy 10. The clerk asked, "How long do you want them?"
And, the University of Montana fan said, "Oh, forever....we're building
our dream house!"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Q: What is the only sign of intelligent life in Missoula?
A: Bozeman: 201 miles.

Q: How do you get a u of m grad off your porch?
A: Pay him for the pizza.

VictorG · Post by **VictorG** » Thu Nov 16, 2006 3:28 pm

1) These old jokes finally made there way to Bozo

or

2) You finally GOT THEM!

I'm curious as to which one is correct!

Thunder Cat · Post by **Thunder Cat** » Thu Nov 16, 2006 3:30 pm

There not jokes VG. There Facts.

Billings_Griz · Post by **Billings_Griz** » Thu Nov 16, 2006 3:57 pm

Thunder Cat wrote:There not jokes VG. There Facts.

Showing that Ms U ejamacation?

GrizinWashington · Post by **GrizinWashington** » Thu Nov 16, 2006 4:43 pm

How does a girl at MSU break up with her boyfriend?

She sends him a John Deere letter.

nevadacat · Post by **nevadacat** » Thu Nov 16, 2006 10:20 pm

Q: How many Griz football players does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
A: Only one, but he gets 3 credits for it.

--------------------

Bobby Hauck was recruiting one of the top players in the country, but the athletic director was concerned about the boy's academic credentials. You see, this recruit had the reputation of not being the sharpest knife in the drawer. So, the AD calls Hauck and the kid in for an entrance exam.

The director tells the promising not-so-student-athlete he will have to pass a one question exam in order to play for the Griz. Nervous and sweating, the kid finally says, "I'm ready."

"OK," says the athletic director, "what's one plus one?"

The young man stares at the ceiling, scratches his head, wrings his hands, and after an uncomfortably long time finally says, "Two?"

To which Bobby Hauck says to the AD, "Wait a minute, wait a minute, ask him again! I know he'll get it right on the second try!"

Post by **rtb** » Fri Nov 17, 2006 10:58 am

Entering a store, a man said, "I would like a white hat, maroon pants, a
white shirt, and maroon shoes." The clerk asked "Are you a Griz fan?"
"I sure am," the man said, sticking his chest out. "How did you know?
The color combination?" "No," replied the employee. "This is a hardware
store."

rollo_tumasi · Post by **rollo_tumasi** » Fri Nov 17, 2006 11:56 am

Did all of you hear about the large fire on the U of M campus last night. Their library burnt to the ground...all five of the books inside were lost...including the two without crayon marks in them!

VictorG · Post by **VictorG** » Fri Nov 17, 2006 12:01 pm

nevadacat wrote: Bobby Hauck was recruiting one of the top players in the country, but the athletic director was concerned about the boy's academic credentials. You see, this recruit had the reputation of not being the sharpest knife in the drawer. So, the AD calls Hauck and the kid in for an entrance exam.

The director tells the promising not-so-student-athlete he will have to pass a one question exam in order to play for the Griz. Nervous and sweating, the kid finally says, "I'm ready."

"OK," says the athletic director, "what's one plus one?"

The young man stares at the ceiling, scratches his head, wrings his hands, and after an uncomfortably long time finally says, "Two?"

To which Bobby Hauck says to the AD, "Wait a minute, wait a minute, ask him again! I know he'll get it right on the second try!"

***

griz-lover · Post by **griz-lover** » Fri Nov 17, 2006 6:05 pm

And what do you get when you stop in Bozeman?

Cat ****** on your boots

Grizlaw · Post by **Grizlaw** » Fri Nov 17, 2006 6:10 pm

Thunder Cat wrote:There not jokes VG. There Facts.

Post of the Year

bobcatmaniac · Post by **bobcatmaniac** » Fri Nov 17, 2006 10:15 pm

grizzh8r · Post by **grizzh8r** » Sat Nov 18, 2006 1:32 am

griz-lover wrote:And what do you get when you stop in Bozeman?

Cat ****** on your boots

Wow. Pathietic Attempt.