Elite explanation

iaafan · Post by **iaafan** » Thu Feb 17, 2005 11:08 am

The South. We should have let them go when they wanted to leave. But no, we had to kill half a million people so they'd stay part of our special Union. Fighting for the right to keep slaves - yeah, those are states we want to keep.

And now what do we get? We're the Arrogant Northeast Liberal Elite? How about this for arrogant: the South is the Real America? The Authentic America. Really?

Cause we founded this country. Those Founding Fathers you keep going on and on about? All that b.s. about what you think they meant by the Second Amendment giving you the right to keep your assault weapons in the glove compartment because you didn't bother to read the first half of the sentence? Who do you think those wig-wearing lacy-shirt sporting revolutionaries were? They were blue-staters. Boston? Philadelphia? New York? Hello? Think there might be a reason all the monuments are up here in our backyard?

No, No. Get out. We're not letting you visit the Liberty Bell and Plymouth Rock anymore until you get over your real American selves and start respecting those other nine amendments. Who do you think those stripes on the flag are for? Nine are for blue states. And it would be 10 if those Vermonters had gotten their Subarus together and broken off from New York a little earlier. Get it? We started this, so don't get all uppity about how real you are you Johnny-come-lately "Oooooh I've been a state for almost a hundred years".

Arrogant? You wanna talk about us Northeasterners being arrogant? What's more American than arrogance? Hmmm? Maybe horsies? I don't think so. Arrogance is the cornerstone of what it means to be American. And I wouldn't be so arrogant if I wasn't paying for your bridges.

All those Federal taxes you love to hate? It all comes from us and goes to you, so shut up and enjoy your Tennessee Valley Authority electricity and your fancy highways that we paid for. And the next time Florida gets hit by a hurricane you can come crying to us if you want to, but you're the ones who built on a swamp. "Let the Spanish keep it, it’s a --hole," we said, but you had to have your orange juice.

The next idiot who says, "It’s your money, not the government's money" is gonna get their ass kicked. Nine of the ten states that get the most federal dollars and pay the least... can you guess? Go on, guess. That’s right, they're red states. And eight of the ten states that receive the least and pay the most? It’s too easy, they’re blue states. It’s not your money, it’s our money. What was that Real American Value you were spouting a minute ago? Self reliance? Try this for self reliance: buy your own stop signs.

Let’s talk about those values for a minute. You and your Southern values can bite my ass because the blue states got the values over you Real Americans every day of the week. Which state do you think has the lowest divorce rate you marriage-hyping pinheads? Well? Can you guess? It’s Massachusetts, the center of the gay marriage universe. Yes, that’s right, the state you love to tie around the neck of anyone to the left of Strom Thurmond has the lowest divorce rate in the nation. Think that’s just some aberration? How about this: 9 of the 10 lowest divorce rates are blue states and most are in the Northeast, where our values suck so bad. And where are the highest divorce rates? Care to guess? 10 of the top 10 are red-ass we're-so-moral states. And while Nevada is the worst, the Bible Belt is doing its part.

But two guys making out is going to ruin marriage for you? Yeah? Seems like you're ruining it pretty well on your own, you little bastards. Oh, but that's ok because you go to church, right? I mean you do, right? Cause we get to hear about it every year at election time. Yes, we're fascinated by how you get up every Sunday morning and sing, and then you're towers of moral superiority. Yeah, that's a workable formula. Maybe us Northerners don't talk about religion as much as you because we're not so busy sinning, hmmm? Ever think of that, you self-righteous jerks? No, you're too busy erecting giant stone tablets of the Ten Commandments in buildings paid for by the Northeast Liberal Elite. And who has the highest murder rates in the nation? It ain't us up here in the North.

Well this gravy train is over. Take your liberal-bashing, federal-tax-leaching, confederate-flag-waving, holier-than-thou, hypocritical b.s. and shove it.

And no, you can't have your convention in New York next time.

jagur1 · Post by **jagur1** » Thu Feb 17, 2005 11:46 am

iaafan: You're an ass. The type of blue that gives the rest of the blues a bad name. You're just like Rush..and crap like that won't solve any problems. Give me a break. I've counted 8 people on the 2 boards I wouldn't want to have beer with and you're one of them. Done.

wbtfg · Post by **wbtfg** » Thu Feb 17, 2005 11:47 am

Am I one of the eight?

Cat Grad · Post by **Cat Grad** » Thu Feb 17, 2005 12:06 pm

1aafan: Where did you get this? I've had a lot of fun watching the party platforms morph over the years; when I met my wife, her father was a Zell Miller appointee and therefore, a yellow dog democrat. Rather fascinating watching both Zell and my father-in-law age and live out the Teddy Roosevelt self-fullfilling prophesy

iaafan · Post by **iaafan** » Thu Feb 17, 2005 12:06 pm

Oh darn. Jagurselfoncearealgood1 doesn't like me. Boo-hoo.

iaafan · Post by **iaafan** » Thu Feb 17, 2005 12:09 pm

Someone emailed it to me and I have no idea where he got it. He edited all the profanity out. He also sent the orig. and it was pretty racy. But hilarious.

Post by **SonomaCat** » Thu Feb 17, 2005 1:21 pm

It is definitely written in a provacative tone, but as for the underlying facts -- it's pretty much spot on. I think it would go down much better if one had just read or heard an equally abrasive attack on liberals (especially NE'ers) before they read this response. So for anyone who wasn't in the right state of mind when reading this, go turn on Fox News or listen to almost any talk show host for 15 minutes, and then that original post will be in its proper context.