seeking input

[briannell]

okay, i'm usually contributing fluff, and I'm a jokester...or at least I think i'm funny

I have a question regarding a tactful way to tell an individual i know that his behavior disgusts me, and well unless he stops it I would rather not know him. I don't want a pissing contest, and he'll get pissy. i don't care if he walks out of my life, he's getting seriously weird.

okay scenario (and i know the men will whoop it up and yell "go stud go" I know that), which is why i'm asking male opinions here.

he's 36 and screwing a 25 and 20 year old females. simple he has cash (makes over 200K a year) & they have P---y. i'd probable just ignore it , but he constantly brings it up and how it's "oh i love her and she loves me BS" been biting my tongue, but as a mom, and woman I'm repulsed.

totally stupid crux but when he calls tonight I'd like to drop the bomb & need male imput best way to do it. So seriously thanks ya'll.

[catatac]

It's input, and I'd say if they're willing and everyone's having fun, go for it! If Hugh Heffner can do it with 3 different hot 20 year olds, and he's 80, 36 doesn't look that bad.

[briannell]

hey thanks for catching my typing error trying to work on speed , accuracy is not great.

guess that's why it's a crux for me to address, men think hell yeah, and I volunteer with those (kids, and women) that have been molested, raped and exploited by adults (mostly men), so I see it different.

was looking for objective opinions. thanks.

think the statement "you're a pervert go away" is on target, but rude.

PS in ref to Hef if he wasn't rich and famous he would not have them. it's cash for sex .

[BobCatFan]

Do you have a crush on this man? Is this why you are upset?

As much as you do not like his behavior, it really is none of your business. These girls are adults. They can make their own decisions. They should know better, before sleeping with him if he is a good man or a jerk. Some girls love the flash of money that some jerks seem to acquire. Is his money the reason they are in love with him?

Are these girls related to you? If yes, maybe you should clue them in. This guy is being a creep, but sometimes things are better left unsaid since he is not cheating on you.

[SonomaCat]

Is anybody getting hurt or exploited in these relationships you are talking about?

If everybody is an adult, and they are all comfortable with whatever they are doing, I don't see any reason for concern.

You, of course, have every right to not associate with any of them if you aren't comfortable with how they live their lives.

[Bleedinbluengold]

Agreed...better just to stay out of it, and change the subject if he brings it up. Tell him that you couldn't care less about his sex life.

[BobCatFan]

hey thanks for catching my typing error trying to work on speed , accuracy is not great.

guess that's why it's a crux for me to address, men think hell yeah, and I volunteer with those (kids, and women) that have been molested, raped and exploited by adults (mostly men), so I see it different.

was looking for objective opinions. thanks.

think the statement "you're a pervert go away" is on target, but rude.

PS in ref to Hef if he wasn't rich and famous he would not have them. it's cash for sex .

If your friend was chasing a 16 year old, I would go up and deck his a$$. I have no tolerance for rape, beatings, or molestation, of kids or women. This is not the case here. Everyone involved is an adult.

I think the best way to handle this is to tell the other women. There is no scorn like the rath of an upset lover.

[briannell]

it sounded bad what i wrote.

He's is simply a weapons instructor I know. i LOVE Glocks!!!!! supposed to possibly hook me up with a shooting partner. I want to get better may be sport shoot more often.

NO, I'm still married last time I checked, together 12 years. I don't like hearing about it.

it's not the girls , it's his decision to go outside the norms that i question. his integrity and morality is skewed, and I really object. I just want a tactful way to say that, before I blurt out to me he's just as bad as a pedophile.

[SonomaCat]

So is your only concern their difference in age? I guess I just don't see the issue here. I agree that he doesn't need to tell you about his sexual history (that should be a given), but in terms of equating him to a pedophile ... I just don't see that aspect of it.

I have a friend who is 40 and he is dating a 20 year old. They are actually a pretty good couple, and seeing them together, it would be hard to say which of the two acts older. If they get married, I would have no problem with it (nor, apparently, would her parents).

And her family has money ... so it isn't necessarily about money.

[briannell]

yes it's that i don't want to hear it. yes the age thing bugs me.

may be it's cuz she makes a living dressing up as strawberry shortcake and stripping in Vegas for a living that I don't want to hear about. i know now you're off to buy a costume for the wife LOL

i just want a nice way to say "go away!!!" please don't tell me her stripper stories, and that he'll send her to college, after he gets back from overseas so she'll make a "nice little wife"

i will have to be around him sometimes, but i don't want to "associate" with him it repulses me.

[Grizlaw]

okay, i'm usually contributing fluff, and I'm a jokester...or at least I think i'm funny

I have a question regarding a tactful way to tell an individual i know that his behavior disgusts me, and well unless he stops it I would rather not know him. I don't want a pissing contest, and he'll get pissy. i don't care if he walks out of my life, he's getting seriously weird.

okay scenario (and i know the men will whoop it up and yell "go stud go" I know that), which is why i'm asking male opinions here.

he's 36 and screwing a 25 and 20 year old females. simple he has cash (makes over 200K a year) & they have P---y. i'd probable just ignore it , but he constantly brings it up and how it's "oh i love her and she loves me BS" been biting my tongue, but as a mom, and woman I'm repulsed.

totally stupid crux but when he calls tonight I'd like to drop the bomb & need male imput best way to do it. So seriously thanks ya'll.

Actually, I'm only 30 Becca...and I wish you wouldn't tell the board about my little secrets that I share with you.

Seriously, I'm pretty much with everyone else here. I'm not going to tell you that you're "wrong" to be disgusted by the guy; everyone's entitled to be disgusted by whatever disgusts them, but if they're all adults and nobody is abusing a position of power or anything like that, I don't really see the problem.

[briannell]

thanks Cory

you're all right about let him live his life, and not judge it.

so i really should have asked a nice way to not tell me about it, and to please associate with others rather than try to with me.

i need very nice way to say it he's a hot head and I don't want a pissing contest, just him to go away.

forgot to include that when i do have to be around him there is an extensive amount of ammo and he's always holding a loaded weapon. i need to be nice, don't want to anger him and oops I'm shot.

[Grizlaw]

i need very nice way to say it he's a hot head and I don't want a pissing contest, just him to go away.

forgot to include that when i do have to be around him there is an extensive amount of ammo and he's always holding a loaded weapon. i need to be nice, don't want to anger him and oops I'm shot.

Geezus, I dunno. When I want to tell someone off, I pretty much just do it.

If you're really worried about being "nice" about it, though, you might try this:

1. First, tell him that you have herpes (so that what you're going to say next won't make him want to sleep with you);

2. Then, tell him that you're really, really, really attracted to him, and that if you didn't have herpes, you'd definitely want him. And then...

3. Tell him that, because of this terrible, melodramatic internal romantic tragedy that you're forced to live out every day due to your attraction for him and your herpes, it really hurts you when he talks about other women, and you'd really appreciate it if he'd stop.

Think that'd work?

--GL (or, you could just tell him that you want to vomit every time you have to hear about his sex life...)

[briannell]

LMAO!!! Cory you are great!

yeah when he's talking within a foot of me all i concentrate on is the loaded gun he's waiving around. he one of those talk with your hands folks. so I may not have a lot of brain cells left after the kids, but i AM smart enough to know you don't anger a hot headed man carrying a loaded weapon.

[BobCatFan]

thanks Cory

forgot to include that when i do have to be around him there is an extensive amount of ammo and he's always holding a loaded weapon. i need to be nice, don't want to anger him and oops I'm shot.

I would more concerned with this behavior then his dating habits.
This is Montana, but most men are not always carrying.

[BobCatFan]

1. First, tell him that you have herpes (so that what you're going to say next won't make him want to sleep with you);

2. Then, tell him that you're really, really, really attracted to him, and that if you didn't have herpes, you'd definitely want him. And then...



Think that'd work?

What happens if he says he has herpes too and having sex would not be a problem? LOL

[briannell]

he is a weapons expert and instuctor he usually has an AK 47 around the neck , a 9mm strapped to his thigh, and of course the 9 mm he happened to be waving around while trying to explain to me how hot the sex is with these young chicks and now post divorce he thinks it's real love this time.

i can't load a clip under pressure, my thumb slips when I'm nervous. this is a great way to get a womans undivided attention!!!!! also nearly give her a heart attack. even at a range this is NOT a way to behave.

that's why I said a tactful, nice, and non confrontational way to say "go away" is what i'm needing.

i just want to qualify with the glock and get better at my accuracy.

[briannell]

he is a weapons expert and instuctor he usually has an AK 47 around the neck , a 9mm strapped to his thigh, and of course the 9 mm he happened to be waving around while trying to explain to me how hot the sex is with these young chicks and now post divorce he thinks it's real love this time.

i can't load a clip under pressure, my thumb slips when I'm nervous. this is a great way to get a womans undivided attention!!!!! also nearly give her a heart attack. even at a range this is NOT a way to behave.

that's why I said a tactful, nice, and non confrontational way to say "go away" is what i'm needing.

i just want to qualify with the glock and get better at my accuracy.

[grizbeer]

With respect to the age difference I don't think it is a big deal personally - so what if he is only able to get these girls because he has money, when he was 20 20 year old girls probably wouldn't talk to him, so he is just getting his fair share of 20 year old now.

On the other hand I find it incredibly creepy that he tells you these stories. You might try this - next time he starts in on his stories just say "Can I just tell you that these type of conversations make me really uncomfortable, and when I talk to my husband about it he tells me I should find another instructor. I would like to continue coming here for instructions, but without knowing his personal life details."

[Hell's Bells]

mention your husbands exploits on the football field and in the army
and then say he has a world-class temper